Goose Talked to Me

Nineteen eighty-six, a year replete with pop and rock hits by Madonna, the Bangles, and Bon Jovi. In addition to box office hits Pretty in Pink and The Karate Kid, II, another must-see was Top Gun. Anyone who lived through that musically saturated era forever remembers "Danger Zone" and "Take My Breath Away" playing fifty times a day. To this day, they associate those two songs with this movie.

Like any pre-teen or teenager at that time, I saw Top Gun on the big screen. I've seen it a few times since then on video or TV. Without fail, I'm at the edge of my seat when the guys perform maneuvers in the air or laugh at their casual interactions (like that guy's reaction to spilling coffee on himself). And I feel chills--when Goose dies. 

Here I am, more than 35 years later, an author, ever-inspired by eighties movies, and a proud Navy wife. At times, my husband talks about certain things from Top Gun, about the F-14s, F-18s, and the regulations back then and how they've changed. When he told me about the sequel, we wanted to see it. 

He told me one of the young guys in the movie is Rooster, Goose's son. Speechless. My heart skipped a few beats. It was as if Goose were a friend of ours and losing him was equally as personal. I wanted to be there to support Rooster. 

We saw this sequel on Memorial Day. Before we left for the theater, I put a pack of tissues in my purse. Although I hadn't seen previews, I assumed the movie would have some footage of the original. 

The first note of the Top Gun Anthem--and I just about lost it.

Enter Rooster a few scenes later. Like father, like son--not only in looks, but also in musical talent. For the first time ever, I got emotional hearing "Great Balls of Fire." I buried my face in my hands and shook my head.

Goose seems so real to me, I thought as I dreamily walked out of the theater. I felt like I was in his circle of friends and personally knew his wife and son. And when I think about his death, what he left behind, I feel like I, like Maverick, had lost a dear friend. 

I wanted to get inside his wife Carol's head. What would she have said or done when her son wanted to follow in his late father's footsteps? Can you imagine her prayers through tears that are mixed with maternal pride and myriad fears? While she's beaming that her son has chosen this career path, she thinks her son may not come home after an airplane malfunction.

Another emotionally stirring moment: Val Kilmer's cameo appearance as Iceman. More than three decades have passed. No more asking who the better pilot is. Don't ruin the moment. It's time to let go.

It may have taken some for me to realize, but now I see the light. When I see a sequel to or reboot of eighties movies and they feature a few things from the original, it takes my breath away. So, talk to me even more, Goose.

Cold, Hard Ugly Truths About Me

What is a writer? Someone who writes.

How do you know you're a writer, or you're interacting with someone who's a writer? All she does and talks about is writing.

What can you expect when you live with a female writer? When she has a meltdown every time she has to do laundry, cook, or run errands.

The more and longer she writes, the less she's able to handle small real-life things--like getting up from her desk to put the clothes in the dryer. 

She may even forget she's already done something...

and then have a long, drawn-out conversation in the form of comments on Facebook...

I got so many random ideas for all my works in progress. At one moment, I'd think about something for The Unknown Beautiful Missing Piece, the next for a devotion. and another time, for any one of my books of journal entries. I know this is what happens when a personal issue I'd had for a few years is finally resolved.

You'd think with all the time and thought I devote to writing, I would've published something else by now.

Nope.

And I hate it. 

Plan your work.

Work your plan.

Sometimes, I need to get back to the basics of reaching my goals and for loved ones to remind me of how to handle them when my world gets chaotic. So thankful for Bobbi, one of my dear writing friends, for telling me this. A few years ago, when I first started writing, I made plans every week to write a certain number of chapters or words. However, I ended up working on something totally different. Therefore, I decided to write whatever came to mind every time I sat at my desk to write.

The following week, I wrote all the things I have yet to do with my books. Although the list is by no means exhaustive and I still have yet to have more definite plans for every day, I took that step toward being more organized. I have a huge desk calendar. for a reason: to fill those daily squares with small projects.

Later that week, I got this email.

It's an opportunity for me to write an article for the Word Weavers blog, for a book published in 2021 or has been or will be in 2022. I want to write why I wrote The Unknown Beautiful Missing Piece. However, I haven't even finished the first draft. Worse yet, I haven't even finished the book. Will writing this article motivate me to go back to working on it (even though they don't have a submission deadline)? I sure hope so. 

"You need to set a deadline. You need accountability," one of my Word Weavers buddies said.

Oh, no, I thought. Me? Needing accountability? What has happened to my self-starter self?

So, here I am, once again at my desk, putting off everyday things til later, and doing better than yesterday to plan my work and work my plan.

What has happened since I got, with apologies to the Beatles, a little help from my friends? I wrote a rough, handwritten copy of Why I Wrote The Unknown Beautiful Missing Piece and made an ARC for Light & Momentary Troubles

I'll close with this thought. I've tried for at least a month to write this post. However, this delay worked out. When I first started working on it, I hadn't received that email that has boosted my motivation. Reading it and wanting to write that article so much it hurts, has added another unexpected dimension to this post. And I thought of this when I ran this morning. 

Leave Your Literary Lamp Lit

I shared this picture on New Year's Day

I could say 2021 was a lousy year for writing. I didn't publish the second book of my journal entries, Light & Momentary Troubles. Nor did I finish the first draft of The Unknown Beautiful Missing Piece or Kill the Locust.  

What's happening to my momentum? Am I in a dry season? If so, how do I come back around?

As last year unfolded, in addition to finally getting to a solution to a personal matter, I'd learned even more about writing. Moreover, I was more receptive to ideas and advice than I ever had been. I read online articles, blog posts, and books about how to improve my craft.

These are the three best books I read in 2021.

I was also more in tune with what the men and women in the critique group I'm in, Word Weavers had suggested when they read parts of The Unknown Beautiful Missing Piece: 

• Be aware of passive voice. 
• Get more inside your character's head.
• You write reflections and dialogue so well. 

Also, after a lot of hard work and attention to detail, Nick Clemente and I took more steps in the project we've been working on for the past year and a half. We hope 2022 will be the year we publish it.

And...I went to one show--the Punk Rock Flea Market. And I enjoyed it even more than the one in 2019. I met more people, some of whom bought copies of my books. I may have gone to only one show, but it's better than going to none (like in 2020). 

Over the past few weeks, I've noticed I leave the lamp lit on my desk, even when I'm not writing. Most mornings, I get up at 4:00 and start my workout not long after 6:00. In those, I write in my journal. Knowing I'll continue after I eat my post-workout snack and take a shower, I leave it on.

I thought about Proverbs 31:18b, NIV: and her lamp does not go out at night. The meaning of the verse is, the light you shine continues even when you're not around. In other words, when I'm not pecking away at my computer or quickly running another pen dry writing page after page in my journal, the next idea is just ahead, and people are reading my books, social media posts, and seeing my Instagram photos--among other limitless things.

My focus and steadfastness as an author were challenged last year, in ways I'd never expected. I knew the enemy wanted to keep me from progressing, going to the next level, to tell me I'm never going to get past a setback I had to endure all year. And I'll be able to win this fight at the end of this month. I'm getting something that will allow me to fulfill my writing goals. I'll share more about that, possibly in my blog post for February.

In the meantime, I'll keep my literary lamp lit.

The Jacks at Christmas Parties

When you're reading this, you and/or your loved ones are going to one Christmas party after another, ones your employer or your best friend is hosting. In addition to catching up with old chums, talking about old times, or sharing off-grid office humor, you're meeting new people. They talk about how work has been rough this year, their cross-country flight to see a grandbaby born (whether it's their first or tenth), and their annual summer trip to the beach with three generations' worth of family there.

But then there's an author at the other end of the table, nibbling on those tasty, homemade cheddar garlic mashed potatoes, patiently listening, sometimes commenting.

Have you asked them what they do? If you have and directed your attention back to that mother bragging about her teenage son's plans to study abroad in Ireland next spring, first of all, I forgive you. But please! Re-direct your attention back to that hard-working author who has spent so many days alone, struggling to find the time to write their novel, agonizing to find flowing words, while drinking the dregs of one cup of coffee after another. Ask them what they write, what their current work in progress is about, and how they came up with the idea. They may have writer's block. In their talking, and you intently listening, they may have an epiphany about the turning point of their story. 

Most of all, ask how you can get a hold of a copy of one of their books--as a Christmas gift. You may have been stuck on what book to give that avid reader in your family. Wouldn't it be so cool if you were there when they unwrapped their gift and with wide eyes and giddiness enveloping their body and mind, they welcomed another book to their ever-growing collection and mentally added that to their TBR list? Then you can say you met the author at a Christmas party.

Having been mostly silent more times than I care to admit at gatherings, whether for Christmas or the 4th of July, and seen Yesterday a few times, I can empathize with Jack. To where I've called these taken-for-granted authors Jacks. 

Yesterday is one of few movies that elicits so many emotions (like that fall-out-of-your-seat John Lennon scene). Those who have seen the movie know the part where Jack plays Let it Be for his parents...

While you may compare your Christmases to the ones portrayed in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation or Home Alone, please don't cause authors to feel like Jack (in the above scene) in Yesterday. 

And how about you? How's your family? How's work going for you?

Random Phrases Through Life Changes

When they say an author's job is 24/7/365, they're not kidding.

The worst of this personal physical issue is over. I'm basking in how well the treatment is working. I'm less tired and can concentrate better. That I'm only a month into this and have a few more months before I'm expected to reach normal levels (at last!) astounds me. What other ideas will I be able to come up with? Many more than what I'm thinking of now. And I know they'll be more orderly and consistent.

At the moment, though, I'm enjoying writing in my journal, tweaking my works in progress. 

In keeping the writing ball rolling as I, in the words of an REO Speedwagon song title, roll with the (life) changes, I've thought of random phrases. 

I've either already included them in Facebook posts or will use them in future ones, blog posts, or one of my works in progress, especially the ones I've thought of this past year. 

Here are some of them:

(1) literary cobwebs

(2) showing support (this is deeper and bears more weight than you realize)

(3) Inspiration can't wait till 8

(4) renewed youth

(5) daily inner renewing

(6) the road less traveled

(7) sacrifices of joy

(8) rusty travel skills

(9) changing my daily script

(10) no outlet

Have I piqued your curiosity about what they mean and how I'm going to use them? I'll help you solve the puzzle(s) in the year to come.

And I just couldn't help myself...

A Brief Journal-style Post

Instead of fearing the blank screen, I'm just going to move my fingers and just write whatever comes to my mind.

At the moment, I'm taking care of a personal issue that requires a lot of time and attention to detail. What I can say about it is, now's the time to take care of it. It's not a bad thing. In fact, it's normal; I just have to find something that works for me. I didn't foresee the few years of trial and error. prior to this.

As can be expected, this takes me away from my full writing schedule, working on even more of The Unknown, Beautiful Missing Piece. Instead, I've been writing in my journal. 

If you don't know me by now, you'll now learn I'd likely write about 4-5 pages, front and back, in one sitting, most days of the week. Although we're fully in the digital age, I'm ever more thankful they still make 120-page composition books and pens. This nearly daily verbal dumping keeps my mind and creativity active, I'm still creating things, thinking of new ideas. They may not be anything related to my novels in progress. Perhaps publishing a novel wasn't in my plans this year. However, I know once the stress of this personal issue subsides, I'll be an even better writer than before. 

P.S. I really tried to write all this without thinking about the flow. I foresee writing with much more abandonment on my novels in progress as a result of writing like this in my journal.

P.P.S. I went back and revised this post--only one time. 

The Best Advice I Can Give You

What got you started with writing?

What inspired you to write the book you're working on right now?

What has been the most rewarding thing about being an author?

These are three of many questions others would ask me about my journey as an author. I try to give them the best answers, without sounding impersonal, insulted, or insensitive.

In addition to the above questions, some also ask me, "I want to write a book. What advice do you have for me?" Since I am a mostly straightforward person (almost to a fault), I give a simple answer: Sit down and write something. Although that's still my answer, my next piece of advice is a bit more dramatic. 

DISCLAIMER: This is not for the faint of heart.

Are you ready??

Have an occasional meltdown.

Such was the case for me Wednesday afternoon. I'd worked hard all day, including tweaking more of The Unknown Beautiful Missing Piece. Once again, I stalled. I've dealt with this for the past few weeks. I was nonetheless happy with what I'd done in the limited time I had that morning. 

I'd attended a webinar that afternoon to whet my appetite for an opportunity to grow professionally. I was really overwhelmed afterward. I wondered if it was going to be just another thing I'll fantasize about to my own personal detriment, that will be unfeasible, no matter what, so much so I should forget about it.

I continued in this fatalistic mindset the rest of the afternoon into the evening. 

Then I snapped. I said things, some of them repeatedly. I knew none of them were true. I was so wound up I almost couldn't eat.

I eventually calmed down and ate dinner. I'd had just another moment where I wondered if all the hard work I'd done since 2011 was going to pay off. For the past five years or so, I've gotten up as early as 3:30 or 4 and got to writing...something...anything, and continued doing related things, such as self-promotion, networking with other authors, or learning more about writing until the late afternoon.

To any aspiring authors reading this, to those who really want to write books, you will have moments where you feel like no one is interested in your writing. You may feel invisible, insignificant, inadequate, just an extra person taking up space in this world, always getting the short end of the stick. You may think your ideas are lame and pathetic, that you keep running around in circles, getting nowhere, that you're spinning your wheels and always will till the day you die. In those moments, let it all out, repeat some things if you feel you need to, eat dinner, and get a good night's rest. When you wake up, in your renewed mental and emotional strength, show up again, and write even better and deeper than before. You'll surprise yourself at what more you can think of and do, how strong you really are. For what it's worth, I have to tell myself these same things, sometimes a few times a week.