We exchanged cards and "Happy Valentine's Day" greetings all through the day, on the phone, via text, and in person.
As an author, and in light of the books I have already published, I can't help thinking of Jenna in my debut book, The Long Road Around the Corner of Hope.
Her boyfriend has just broken up with her. Therefore, she does not have a date on Valentine's Day. She feels left out, like she's missing out on something, unimportant, worthless, overlooked. Even worse, on that day, she has to work at her job at T J Maxx, where men are coming in buying last-minute gifts, and working with Tracy Nave. Though she is Jenna's favorite co-worker and has encouraged and advised her at times, Jenna can't help feeling jealous of Tracy, because she is beautiful and married.
For those of you who are single and reading this, and you are feeling down that this was just another Valentine's Day of flying solo, going it alone, I hope this post will bring you comfort, that you're in good company. Below is an excerpt from Chapter 10 of The Long Road Around the Corner of Hope:
A Sunday morning
that Jenna was off, and she had no desire to go to church. Although she was off two Sundays a month, she
slept in, rather than go to church. The
church she had attended placed a lot of emphasis on marriage. Jenna was one of very few single women who
went there.
Since this was the
Sunday before Valentine’s Day, Jenna knew it would be all about love
today. If she were to go, everyone else
would tell her that God could be her Valentine.
More than any other time, she resented that. She wanted a very special man to be that; it
would make more sense.
Jenna
woke up to rain on Valentine’s Day. In
defiance, she put on a solid black knit shirt and a pair of black pants. Her hair was just the way she wanted
it-unwashed for two days now, but still presentable.
She
didn’t mean for this to happen, but she walked into work looking like she had
been drinking. Given how she felt, she
might as well have been drunk.
As
she expected, Tracy came in dressed as much for success as love, the latter of
which Jenna knew she was going to get from Jeff tonight. Her long, red hair was pulled back tightly
with a clip, and she was dressed in a candy apple-red sweater that hung
slightly off her shoulders and black slacks that really did justice to her
figure.
“Good morning, Jenna. Happy Valentine’s day.”
She
couldn’t look Tracy in the eye, let alone stand to be around her all day. She just slightly nodded her head.
“Jenna,
I know you’re feeling down today. But
I’m sure we’re going to have a busy day with last-minute shoppers you won’t
even think about how you’re feeling.”
Easy for you to say, Tracy.
Noticing
that her words didn’t make Jenna feel better, she put her arm around her
shoulders. “You might not have any
reason to celebrate today, but just remember you’re very special.”
Nothing but red and pink was all around the
store, as if Cupid himself came by the store overnight and spray-painted
it. This was especially in the ladies’
and lingerie departments-negligees, socks, sweaters; there were endless racks
and shelves of it. Worse yet, there were
many men buying items from those very places.
One of them asked Jenna if they had a red dress in the store. He hoped so, and it would be in her size, because
she was coming home tonight after being away for a few days on a business trip. He wanted to surprise her with a red dress
she had seen here, that she wanted so bad she could taste it.
How
romantic was that! Jenna tried not to
resent having to help this man. Why
wasn’t some other man like him doing something similar for her?
Later
that day, Jenna told Tracy, “I have to be honest with you. It’s hard to get through today. Knowing that I’m just going to go home after
this.”
“Jenna,
have you considered going to church?
That is the best thing you can do right now.” That was unusual: talking about church on Valentine’s Day. Jenna didn’t want to hear any of it. And if Tracy went on to say something about
God being her Valentine, she was going to stalk out the door.
“But
I’m so exhausted from work I don’t want to go anywhere on the Sundays I don’t
work.”
“Jenna,
I work the same number of hours you do, and have a husband and three children,
and I still go to church. We make it a
priority to go, no matter how busy or tired we are.”
Jenna
looked away from her and looked like she was busy. She avoided Tracy the rest of the day. She wished she could do that to everyone and
just work somewhere else in the store by herself.
****
Jenna
heard nothing but love songs on her way home.
Worst of all, one of them was Jenna’s and Larry’s. Starship’s “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us
Now.” Jenna had wanted a relationship in
which they would sing popular duets together.
Up until that point, no one had done that with her. This song was one of many they sang together,
they claimed it as theirs. Since they
talked about marriage a lot, they wanted this song to be the one for their
first dance. It was now painful to
hear. Jenna turned the radio off.
She
thought about going to Boston Market. However, knowing she would be the only one eating
alone, she saved herself that humiliation.
She decided to stay home and fix tomato soup.
As
she sat down on the couch after heating some in the microwave, she hoped the
warmth of it would comfort her and assuage her depression. But she felt weak just putting the spoon in
her hand. After a few moments of trying
to eat, she gave up and placed the bowl on the end table.
That was where she saw a framed picture of
her and Larry. It was taken several
months into their relationship, at a time when they were inseparable. They were
on the back patio of his parents’ house, arm-in-arm and gazing into each
other’s eyes, oblivious to anything else around them. This was their favorite picture.
Jenna
couldn’t believe it was still there. She
picked it up, pulled it out of the frame, tore it up, and threw it in the trash
can.
She rushed to her bedroom, got the shoebox
from the shelf in her closet that had many pictures of them, love letters,
cards, ticket stubs, roses, and tossed it into the garbage. Two years’ worth of stuff really added up,
especially when they had a lot of fun together.
As
she went through everything in her shoebox, her mind drifted back to last
Valentine’s Day. They had both decided,
without any hesitation, to go to the Main Street Diner. Located in downtown Winston-Salem, it was voted
the most romantic restaurant in town because many marriage proposals happened
there. When she told Tracy about it,
they both got excited about it. She and
Larry had been together for a little over a year, an ideal amount of time in
Jenna’s mind to expect a ring on her finger.
Jenna got dressed in her black pleated
miniskirt and black sweater that had sequined flowers on it, Larry in his ash
gray three-piece suit and his best dress shoes.
But
he didn’t propose. In fact, it was
worse. They went Dutch. Jenna felt like she got the short end of the
stick that night.
On a night that she would love to go out on a
date, she had to be reminded of Larry.
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