A wonderful afternoon I'm having. Nothing going on. Nothing I need to do at the moment. Writing sure is in me. It's still in me even though I'm not writing anything big. It's just past 7:00. Something about this down time, while I'm alone and scribbling away, that makes me think of Cultivate [a local coffee and flower shop]. I believe the last time I went there was earlier this year. To work on my screenplay. That had to be what I worked on. Cultivate, where I went to work on 3 books in a short period of time. Thought about all this as I read the latter part of [Ela Thier's] memoir . I love how she wrote about writers needing community and support. Going to a coffee shop, writing together, brainstorming. Well, I did the writing part. All those times I went to Cultivate, I went alone. Oh, that thinker I am sure was there, present, focused. One of few who was alone. Laptop, flash drive, notebook, and don't forget headphones. So I can listen to that Strong & Steadfast playlist for the millionth time. You can't undo the pain, the anger and the shame ["Blinded" by Mark Mulch]. I want you to scream my name ["Scream" by W.A.S.P.]. Won't be the one to hold you when you cry in the middle of the night ["The Devil That You Know" by Tattered Sons]. I'm rusted and weathered, barely holding together ["Weathered" by Creed]. The playlist is about an hour long. It got to be that way especially when I added on Your Love is a Rumor [by Tattered Sons]. That was my cue to get up, get some more water, go to the bathroom. Two hours of that. Get there at 8, get set up as efficiently as possible. The sooner, the better. In that way, the music of choice playing in the shop doesn't un-inspire me. That first song to remind me of why I wrote Strong & Steadfast . This sounds strange, but "Every Rose Has its Thorn" [by Poison]. That joke about being in so much pain. That joke about Bret supporting endo because of his tension on the word pain.
Then those words a few songs later in Home Again. Hard to believe I once had that song on repeat. Not only when I was diagnosed with endo, but also when I wrote the novel.
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